May 2008
The 10 Craziest How-To Books You Never Knew...
1. How-To Shit in the Woods Our once-pristine wildlands are threatened by ever increasing problems of pollution. Since its first publication in 1989, How to Shit in the Woods has been adopted by outdoor enthusiasts everywhere as part of the solution. In this updated edition, outdoorswoman Kathleen Meyer reviews the newly available portable potties, with special attention to individual trekkers in...
She tells her love while half asleep: In the dark hours, With half-words whispered low: As Earth stirs in her winter sleep And puts out grass and flowers Despite the snow, Despite the falling snow. -Robert Graves
not that i have anything particularly...
but what the hell. 1. i am voting for Obama. 2. i would very much like to go to europe next summer instead of the states. (parents, i hope you are listening. i have dropped many not-so-subtle hints.) 3. LSAT. LSAT. LSAT. 4. fear over not knowing what to do for my thesis grips me at the most random moments. (in the shower, in the middle of a movie, while taking apple juice out of the fridge this...
You are a fever/You are a fever/You ain’t...
The Most Absurd Laws from Around the World
By: Neha Gray I imagine that the reason most of these laws and bans still exist is that no one has gotten around to changing them. However, they’re totally worth laughing at and leave you imagining where the hell they might have come from. This is what happens when legal power lands in the wrong hands. France It’s illegal to call or address a pig as Napoleon. Between the hours of 8 a.m. and 8...
Listen
Atheists are nice people who will roast in Hell,...
ATHEISTS and AGNOSTICS are decent people whose tormented souls will burn for all eternity in the scorching fires of hell, Britain’s biggest catholic said last night.‘God is everywhere - even under my little red hat’ Cardinal Cormac Murphy O’Connor said non-believers should be respected, right up to the point of death when they will finally come face to face with Satan and...
something happened
“I was inconvenienced yesterday when a man my age was killed in a subway station nearby and caused a traffic jam that made me late for a cocktail party with salesmen at which i was expected to be early; his arm caught in the closing doors as he tried to push his way on, but the train started anyway while he was still outside, said the newspapers today, even though it was not supposed to, and...
Lucky Adam - Merz
“‘He has got no good red blood in his body,’ said Sir James....”
– Middlemarch (George Eliot)
Weird Fishes - Radiohead
Autobiography by Arkaye Kierulf (excerpts)
12. The earth accommodates 6,398,649,394 human beings on 148,380,000 square kilometres of land. If these people were spread equally there’d be a distance of 152.279 meters between each of them, give or take some. This is the average amount of solitude the world allows by distance. When a person dies, everyone in the world is allowed more remove from everyone else. Thus, the resultant sadness....
Excuse me, I Am Here For My Cunt Examination
Engrish is a beautiful thing. It is the incorrect translation or use of the English language in Asia. You normally see it in some small shop’s sign or on some random product, but you don’t expect to see it in a hospital. I don’t know about you, but it definitely would make me worry about their attention to detail. For all you men out there who might be feeling left out, don’t be. Craigslist is...
Depressed Cupboard Cheesecake [real names of real... →
depressed cupboard cheesecake is the child of a couple in kent, england. other winning names: arjelico fucks (a brazilian footballer) and lucious pusey (Linebacker for Eastern Illinois University, legally changed his name to Lucious Seymour)
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Singapore Superhero: Batman Bin Suparman
You should never judge a book by its cover, but what if that book turned out to be a comic? Batman Bin Suparman might not be a joke, but his name sure is.
In Singapore, English is the most widely used language and all names are translated or converted to English when their Birth Certificate is issued.
On May 13, 1990, this young man was blessed with being named after two superheroes: Batman and...
Giant Panda Saves The World →
“The pavement glittered, and I remembered that as a kid, I thought that every...”
– Star-Gazing by Rafael C. San Diego [4 may 4:35 am]
PENIS POKEY
…is a fun book which has holes cut through the centre of it for ones willy to poke through. Once inserted into the hole, the willy interacts with the illustration on the page to create a very funny scene indeed. From monkeys to underpants, the pages unveil cute opportunities to create various stories with your Johnston as the main star. The only thing missing was a page with a politicians...
obsessive blogging is insane.
it annoys me that every single time i post a quote there are no closing quotations marks. no, really, i am seriously peeved by this. :(
“Dreams are as real to the mind as our waking life, what then is reality?”
– Waking Life
“Paranoids are not paranoid because they’re paranoid, but because they keep...”
Bob Marley - Mellow Mood
What Comes Before Sweetness by Martin Gonzales
You didn’t like vanilla. It was like the long, late winter sky in your mouth, dull though it made the other flavours sharper—butter pecan, strawberry, all the colours of warmer mornings. It was eating just the brink of spring while the mercury was falling. You were thirteen, still gangly as the trees striped bare by frost, but you knew the change would be more than weather, there were apples you...
“She is sunlight on two feet. / Innocently girlish laughter. Her words are dyed...”
– i wish i could write something like this about myself.
